The opportunity to make impact is exhilarating. The hits that come while pursuing that impact not so much. I’ve worked behind the scenes with numerous owners, CEOs, and executives. Here are five things you need to know about taking hits.
Tod Bolsinger, writes in his book Tempered Resilience,
Tempered steel is perfectly balanced at the midpoint between too soft to be useful as a tool and so brittle that the tool will break through hard use.
Britannica defines tempering,
Tempering, in metallurgy, the process of improving the characteristics of a metal, especially steel, by heating it to a high temperature, though below the melting point, then cooling it, usually in air. The process has the effect of toughening by lessening brittleness and reducing internal stresses. Suitable temperatures for tempering vary considerably, depending on the type of steel and designed application;
If you read this quote and definition, it doesn’t take much to recognize the numerous, valuable, relevant connections to life.
Samuel Chand writes in, Leadership Pain,
If you’re not hurting, you’re not leading. Your vision for the future has to be big enough to propel you to face the heartaches and struggles you’ll find along the way. You’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain.
Prior to significant hits or hurts this is academic. After significant hits or hurts this is life.
But we are change agents by design. The first directive God gave is, “Fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over [it].” That was all well and good until the Fall where God revealed this world would now fight back.
So, if we would impact a world, we have to learn the character of taking hits, taking the heat.
You’ve taken hits. You recognize the possibility of further hurt.
What is your threshold of pain?
How much are the hits a surprise, seen as affliction, or a necessary price for transformational leadership?
The following are principles for preparing and responding to the unavoidable collateral damage, the hits, of leadership.
1. Taking hits is universal and unavoidable if you step up to lead.
There a two basic reasons. First, leadership by necessity involves change. Any change worth its salt disturbs the status quo and therefore creates discomfort. Someone is not going to like that.
Secondly, if you are leading anywhere near your max proficiency, it will push you to the edge of your competency or experience. This is the cutting edge of your growth, and being on the cutting edge can often cut you, and cuts hurt. Imperfections or needed growth are most obvious where there is pain. Pain is an unequalled clarifier.
There’s no room for self-pity. Leadership invites pain. Solomon’s proverb puts it this way, “Where there are no oxen, the stall is clean.” [Proverbs 14:4] The contrapositive should be obvious. If you have oxen, you get the stuff that comes with them.
2. You only grow to the threshold of your pain.
You have a pain threshold above which you won’t grow. There is an internal fuse inside of you that burns out when the current gets too intense. You can replace the fuse; you can increase the size of the fuse, but unless you realize you have a fuse governing your pain threshold, things will stop working or progressing but you won’t recognize why.
3. Increasing your pain tolerance increases your growth capacity.
Spiritually speaking, it was not an anomaly that the resurrection was predated by the crucifixion. Saving the world had an unavoidable cost. Jesus came face to face with the cost prior to winning the world. His question, “If it is possible, may this cup be taken from me” was followed with a clear “It’s not possible.” If you are going to change the world, you are going to have to embrace the cross.
If you are going to create a world-changing business, impact, or family, you must be willing to face and embrace the pain that comes with it.
4. Pain comes in ways and hurts at levels you didn’t expect.
When you are at the outset of your journey, you are always willing to embrace whatever pain is necessary. The romance of future potential makes us starry-eyed. Optimism is essential but can easily lead to idealism.
There is no such thing as a leader strong enough to be impervious to the pain. There is always a pain capable of knocking you to your knees. But that need not be morbid. I can be aware of the reality, even necessity, of pain without it dominating or depressing my thinking.
I don’t know your personal spiritual journey, but one of the beautiful benefits of following Jesus is His standing promise, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” [John 16:33]
This is true and works for business as much as it does the rest of life.
5. The pain is worth it.
If the pain comes in the pursuit of what you have been called to do, and if you effectively embrace the pain, pain is worth it. Without having a Pollyanna attitude toward life, you can experience real, meaningful joy and fulfillment before, during, and after the pain.
Potentially the most valuable aspect of pain is its tempering properties. Steel is essential for its strength, but without tempering the strength of steel is brittle.
There is a challenge with pain. Pain may be an unavoidable and even essential part of growth and leadership, but it can take you out as easily as it can grow you.
What makes the difference between effective and destructive is the focus of the next blog.